We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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