I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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