So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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