life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
