this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude. I can hear the air.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
