Welp...herpes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bring me that man meat
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
