As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
