Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
