I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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