Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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