Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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