The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
