Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
