omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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