he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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