We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize