Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
