I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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