so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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