Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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