I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
