Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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