the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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