She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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