that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
