It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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