yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
