Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
