in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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