We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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