waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
