Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
