I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
