i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
