The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
