He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
