If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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