i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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