are you so shy because you have an std?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize