party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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