I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
