I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
