i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
