I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
