I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think your dad took our porno
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
