Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize