you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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