Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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