You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish you could order shots online.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
