Sry I called you an 8
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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