I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Panties = found
Randomize
