just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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