If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
