Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
