i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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