hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
