I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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