white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
