Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
did you just send me my own nude
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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