Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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