He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
God, I missed his penis.
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