i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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