C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
