he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
