i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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